Hi ladies. I don't know what I'm doing exactly, but I'm giving our new blog a whirl! See you on Thursday.
Bev
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Honors for Women
Hi ladies,
I have just finished reading my assignment in our Healing Paths book for the week. (Chapter 4) I found it comforting as it made me aware that the things I am experiencing are quite normal. The responses to betrayal such as What's Wrong with Me? and Someone Will Pay and Who Cares (numbing out) have all been a part of my journey.
Another key point in the chapter for me was "When betrayal ends a relationship, we struggle with profound doubt about our desirability and discernment. It becomes easy to replace faith with suspicion. Self-doubt and suspicion have been close friends for me for quite some time in dealing with sexual addiction.
The author speaks of the foundation being ripped from our lives and loss of confidence in others as well as isolation.
This week I have lived this chapter, feeling isolated and having an intense battle with loneliness. At the same time I feel lonely, I dont feel very motivated to be in relationship. (except with you girls... you understand) I recognize myself in the character of George on page 60 who found the only way to stop the nausea of dealing with past memories was to grabbed a bowl of nuts , turned on the television and numbed out. I feel like I need accountability in my life to help me rise above the anguish I am feeling and yet every one else is busy with their own lives. I am hoping this blog will be a way of connecting throughout the week.
So, here is my question for you all. Are you also struggling with "numbing out" by eating or just sitting in front of the television, playing computer games far into the night, etc...?
I have just finished reading my assignment in our Healing Paths book for the week. (Chapter 4) I found it comforting as it made me aware that the things I am experiencing are quite normal. The responses to betrayal such as What's Wrong with Me? and Someone Will Pay and Who Cares (numbing out) have all been a part of my journey.
Another key point in the chapter for me was "When betrayal ends a relationship, we struggle with profound doubt about our desirability and discernment. It becomes easy to replace faith with suspicion. Self-doubt and suspicion have been close friends for me for quite some time in dealing with sexual addiction.
The author speaks of the foundation being ripped from our lives and loss of confidence in others as well as isolation.
This week I have lived this chapter, feeling isolated and having an intense battle with loneliness. At the same time I feel lonely, I dont feel very motivated to be in relationship. (except with you girls... you understand) I recognize myself in the character of George on page 60 who found the only way to stop the nausea of dealing with past memories was to grabbed a bowl of nuts , turned on the television and numbed out. I feel like I need accountability in my life to help me rise above the anguish I am feeling and yet every one else is busy with their own lives. I am hoping this blog will be a way of connecting throughout the week.
So, here is my question for you all. Are you also struggling with "numbing out" by eating or just sitting in front of the television, playing computer games far into the night, etc...?
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