On Sunday the pastor spoke about skipping stones on water and the ripple effect of things in our lives. Both yesterday and this morning, I feel the ripples of something happening within my heart I'd like to express and hopefully send the ripples even further and on into the lives of others.
Almost the first thing I read this morning was the very REAL and heart rending account of something that touched the life of one of my dearest sisters in Christ. I immediately felt the ripple of pain as it touched something deep inside my heart. While the descriptions she used to relay the painful experiences of her life are quite personal and tell her individual story, I was made acutely aware how I have been similarly broken by the fallen world in which we find ourselves living. It was almost as if the words of her painful discovery were ripping my heart and I bled out of the same kind of wound from my past. One of the first questions I asked myself was "What should my response be to this wounding of my sister's heart?"
I only have to look back about twelve hours to find the answer. Just last evening, I found myself grabbing a boxed pizza from a man at Pizza Hut, eyes down and heading for the exit as quickly as possible to avoid the stares of those who might witness I was breaking down right before their eyes. A text just moments earlier read, "Can I call you now?" to which I replied a desperately typed, "Yes." By the time I found myself behind the steering wheel, there was a simultaneous opening of a floodgate of tears and the ring of my cellphone. God's perfect timing. His ripples of grace!
On the other end was a REAL friend going through REAL trauma in her own life. The 46 min and 01 second she sacrificed for me to allow God's love to ripple through her life into mine...I pray they are written down in God's book and she will find a great reward for sitting with me in a time of REAL suffering. Having had similar experiences in life and knowing the brokenness that sometimes seem to overwhelm, she made herself available to listen and comfort. Words like, "I've been there and I understand"came long before words of scripture or calls to pray and seek God's answers. Her words came only after much listening and caring and compassionate questions about how I was feeling.
When I finished reading the painfully REAL heart crushing experience of my friend this morning, there was a ripple effect immediately. I desired to be the one on the other end of the phone with solace and comfort for a sorrowful, hurting heart. If I had not found comfort from a friend last evening, certainly I might have found myself feeling more discouraged... seeing one more casualty of the enemy's attack on one more sister. However, God's love had rippled into and through my life so I might hear His heart concerning our calling to others who are experiencing painful circumstances.
The challenge for me as I write this is in being as open and honest with my struggles as this brave and courageous sister was this morning as she shared her current heartbreak. As I thought about it, I realized how deeply wounded many of us feel by those we have needed to "have our backs." It is only in relationships where I have felt another open up and authentically share their own personal struggle I've been willing to share my fears and failures. All others only see the mask and never come to know the REAL ME.
When I started this blog, I remember one night listening to Natalie Grant's song, REAL ME for over 2 hours. I listened to every Youtube composition of this song... some repeatedly. I wept and cried out to God to make me a REAL person, one others would find approachable. My heart's desire was that I would be like Jesus and be willing to sit with others in their painful emotions. I have failed miserably at times to follow through and other times have found it happened quite naturally. Today I have become aware again of my need to be REAL so that I can be Jesus for others. It really is like a ripple effect on the water when skipping stones. But unlike the boundaries of the bank of a river or pond, God's love and it's ripples of mercy and grace have no bounds.
So what does all this mean for me and you today? For me, God has opened my eyes to see how critical it is for me to be available to those who are hurting. He has also spoken to my heart about taking the mask off and sharing my real fears and failures. Obviously, there might be those who will judge my life and even laugh at my fears and failures. Having lived through and come out of an abusive relationship, I have sought to run as far as possible from the judgment and condemnation of others. Running has taken me out of the conflict for a time, but perhaps it has seriously affected my very REAL calling in life. The Bible says, "Jesus was numbered with the transgressors." This and other scriptures tells me He was friends with the broken and wounded.... those who "hadn't gotten it all right yet."
We are living in the fallen world and we are called to a ministry of reconciliation and redemption. In the book of James, we are called to confess our faults one to another that we might find healing.Unfortunately, for many of us, the idea of confessing our fears and failures only resurrects painful memories of those who were unavailable or unequipped to sit with us in our painful moments.Sometimes we have even experienced the judgment and condemnation of others. For many, like myself, it was at this point we grew to know the ever faithful love of Christ.However, this doesn't allow us to jump ship or run in fear to a place of anonymity in the body of Christ. In fact, it has been through this experiential knowledge of Christ's love that we have been called to also number ourselves with the broken and wounded,.
I would like to end with a few thoughts from the book Numbered with the Transgressors by Larry Jackson (purchased at the church where I heard the author speak... and also met the two sisters mentioned in this blog post. Coincidental? I think not... just more ripples of His love that began some years ago when He placed these sisters in my life that His love might continue to ripple through mine and theirs.)
From the book....
We jump from the "number of the transgressors, even in family situations when God wants to use us to minister salvation, healing and deliverance to family members.
Unfortunately, the modern church is not so willing to be found by the very people who need it the most.
The underlying root of "jumping from the number of the transgressors" is pride.
I ask myself today... What causes me to run or "jump," if you will, from being numbered with Jesus among the transgressors?
Would you ask yourself, how am I doing at being REAL with others?
Would you thank God for the ripple effects of His love in your life and show you where to skip the rock so His love can ripple out affecting others with His love for them?
