In my writing I find an outlet for all the thoughts running around in my head. For a season in my life, I was asked to record my feelings in a journal, followed by the thoughts I was having while experiencing that emotion. That was truly the beginning of learning to take thoughts captive for me. Having spent many years feeling the emotions of others at the expense of feeling my own, I was suddenly confronted with what was really going on inside my heart. Putting pen to paper was a brain dump of sorts from which I emptied self out onto paper and learned how many lies I'd believed about myself and ultimately has led to my discovery of my need to update my personal image of God.
Today, I rose filled with hope that I was about to experience a revival of a part time career as I waited by the phone for a call from a woman in another state. She'd expressed interest in my coaching/counseling services after reading of my own personal pain in an area in which she is now struggling. Five minutes, then ten, then fifteen passed and I remembered how difficult it was to minister to women who were dealing with sexual addiction in their marriages. Disappointment set in as I realized she wasn't going to follow through with her promise to call.
I realize in the aftermath I've grown in maturity as I made the decision to move on with my morning. As I read through one chapter and then another, the theme became clearer and clearer to me. Pursuit of God must be our singular most important goal as a believer. Then, I came to the following statement,
“The Father is true to His heart not our selective ideas about who is to hear the message of the Gospel.” While the study was pointing out our ideas about where and to which nations the gospel should be sent, I was hearing a more personal message from Him. You are still looking for your own plan, your own purpose and as long as you continue to do this, you will be frustrated and disappointed. Your only real security is in Jesus' words. The truth and all that I desire for you are found “in Him.”
And then I was impressed to go back and read a “word from the heart of God” sent to me this week from a dear friend.
'listen to me.... isaiah 43:10 says, "you are My witnesses, whom I created... to KNOW Me and to BELIEVE Me."
THAT is all God asks of us. to BE with Him. to know and believe HIM.
DOING is secondary. sooooooooooooo secondary. dont stress over what you are DOING, robin. strive to BE WITH God every chance you get. to read, pray, worship, sing, think about, and be silent with Him.
when you get to that place, when it's natural for you to "live" there, you may find your heart changed completely. and you just never know what might come next.
i really feel that this is a word for you today. from the heart of God. and i dont sense that very often for another person.
i am with you, sister.”
It wasn't long before I also remembered the words of my mentor, with words of wisdom born of years of experience in her walk with Christ. When I'd talked to her of my belief and desire to write a book, she merely said, “I think you should think of it as 'I have a story to tell.'
I have a tendency to get too verbose when I write, so today my effort is to be brief and to the point. The point is becoming clearer for me as my own ideas, plans and purposes continue to be frustrated. On Easter Sunday we saw a video clip of a dramatization of Jesus speaking to Peter after he had denied Christ three times on the night of his arrest. In his failure, Peter believed he was no longer worthy to be a disciple and was filled with shame. The words Jesus spoke to him in reply about feeding His sheep were followed in the video with these words, “It's ALWAYS about ME, Peter.”
In the Bible study today, one of my notes says, “Simply listen to Jesus.” Anytime it's about our ideas and plans or our ability to make things happen, our “doing” or “helping Him” or about “our shame and disappointments” things begin to get out of focus.
He is making ready a bride without spot or wrinkle before He comes again. One king, the Lord Jesus, Christ will rise to prominence and the highest joy will be to those who have known Him. So as I lay down my ideas, thoughts and plans for this day, I thank Him for invading my thoughts, challenging my self desire and drawing me once again to KNOW HIM and BELIEVE that He has a plan and a purpose for my life.
“Have thine own way, Lord...have thine own way... Mold me and make me after thy will, while I am waiting yielded and still...Hold o'er my being Absolute sway...Till all shall see, Christ only, always living in me.”
“...until Christ is completely and permanently formed and molded within you.” Galatians 4:19
I am with you sisters... as we seek Him and allow Him to mold and make us into His beautiful, spotless bride....
